Grandiose Gratification, Gargantuan Grille
Ever wanted to drive a Bond car that wasn’t an Aston Martin, but still want all the power, luxury and tech that comes with it? There was once a time when the spy looked to the Bavarians for his wheels, and indeed, in the film Tomorrow Never Dies, Bond drove a remote controlled BMW 750iL. Two decades on, would the new 7 still be viable for 007? Probably not. He might be more of an M8 guy these days. But certainly it should be something to consider for the elegant, opulent and wealthier individuals of the world. I put on by best clearance rack blazer so as to fully immerse myself in the experience of being in and around the big 7.
There’s really nothing small about the 7-series – especially this latest model – and especially the grille. As polarizing as it is in photos, it does seem to fit the sometimes downright menacing aesthetic of BMW’s latest flagship sedan. Proportionally, it’s a little better laid out than the X7. You’ll also get some equally massive air intakes on the front bumper, vertical vents adorning the front fenders and some rather wide exhaust ports. But don’t let those gaping exit holes fool you. This thing is whisper quiet – when you want it to be.
As one should expect from a 7-series, you’ll be dripping in luxury inside the 750. Even more in the extended wheelbase trim like our tester (designated by the L in the badge). Higher trim levels and option packages will yield passengers even more features, like a power footrest and screens on the back of the front seats for master’s entertainment. Our tester was exquisitely finished in what BMW calls ‘Fiona Red.’ It admittedly made me think of a nicely cooked steak. But I suppose ‘Medium Rare’ isn’t an appealing colour name to the target market. The g̶r̶i̶l̶l̶ ̶m̶a̶r̶k̶s̶ quilted diamond-pattern stitching covers the seat surface and extends to the door sill armrests – which now also feature heating elements for your ailing forearms. They are seriously nice though – especially during a Canadian winter.
For the passenger in the back, the 750Li is a wonderful place to be. The plush, supportive seats recline to the point where the back half of your body is enveloped in soft, rich (not Corinthian) leather. We also liked that the pillow on the seat’s headrest had its own little bolsters built in which you could freely adjust to stop your head from rolling side to side – in case Jeeves decides he or she wants to take full advantage of the 523 horsepower twin turbo 4.4L V8 under the hood. Or, if you just find yourself falling asleep in the comfy rear. The seats do also feature a massaging function, but even at its most vigorous setting, it feels like like a cat kneading its paws into your back at best.
From the back, passengers will also be able to take control of certain vehicle functions like media, interior lighting, rear seat adjustments and air conditioning via a tablet integrated into the rear armrest. They’ll also be within reach of the much-needed refrigeration unit, accessible through a hatch placed between the rear seats. Simply fold down the centre armrest and pull the leather-bound panel down. The fridge is ideal for keeping your finest bottle of Dom Perignon chilled to perfection. Or perhaps to preserve a fine cheese. Or in our case, some apple juice from the dollar store and a snickers bar, allowing me to channel noted high-society type George Costanza. One must live life to the fullest, after all. The fridge will eat up some of the trunk space in the car, but does appear to be removable. Admittedly, we didn’t try.
Okay, so we know the big 7 is comfy. But what’s it like if master decides they want to drive instead? Despite being such a plush car, what’s under the hood is anything but soft. But it sure is smooth. That aforementioned 4.4L V8 propels the big limo from 0-100 in just around 4 seconds give or take – supercar numbers in a car that comfortably seats four adults. Just don’t expect it to carve corners and turn on a dime like a supercar might. This is still a big luxury sedan at the end of the day after all, no matter how many M-badges you slap on it. But that said, you will get some noticeably sharper handling when you put the car into Sport mode. But we’d recommend letting the car do what it does best by leaving it in Comfort mode.
The 7-series isn’t a cheap car. Nor should you ever expect it to be. The only economy you should expect out of it comes in the hybrid 745e model (reviewed here.) Our 750Li is all about comfort, excess and presence and one should expect a price tag that reflects that. The model range starts at just over $126,000 in Canada. Our tester, fitted with options like the extended wheelbase, Bowers and Wilkins Diamond sound system, Executive Lounge package and the ever-important Ambient Air (who wouldn’t want their car to smell like the dusk of a shimmering desert?), totals in at just under $156,000. If it’s a financial pill you can swallow, you’ll be rewarded with a car that seamlessly blends sport and luxury. So have your car – and drive it too.
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