Opulence, Excellence, & Exclusivity
This is a story that starts with a modest typewriter. Alpina may not be as familiar a name in North America as it is overseas. Since the late 60’s, they’ve breathed on some of BMW’s greatest hits, turning an already special vehicle into something even more remarkable. The logo is the very picture of that heritage, featuring the icon of a twin-carburetor - reminiscent of the very first Alpina-tuned BMW. This legendary tuning company’s very humble beginnings as a typewriter manufacturer have taken them to producing what might be the ultimate marriage of luxury and power among BMW’s lineup, the XB7.
You’d not know it from stepping inside this XB7, but Alpina have long held a colour scheme of blue and green. Crack open the glovebox and the Alpina booklet case will show you exactly what we mean, or just start the thing! Alpina-tuned BMW’s of yore featured this blue and green motif far more prominently, in the form of an embroidered pattern trailing along the seats. In the XB7, that heritage is more subtle, featuring in the aforementioned booklet case, steering wheel stitching, as well as the gauge cluster. Pop the car into sport mode and you’ll see what we mean. You’ll also see some blue backlighting replace some of BMW’s typical orange illumination. You can opt for some exclusive Alpina Blue Metallic or Alpina Green Metallic paintjobs, but our tester kept things on the down low with a Black Sapphire finish. Gracing the front end, on the XB7-exclusive air dams, is an Alpina name plate in solid metal.
Other unique Alpina touches include the Alpina Classic multi-spoke wheels. We prefer these over the optional star-pattern Alpina Dynamic wheels. You’ll also get a number of Alpina badges adorning the interior and wheel caps, as well as a metal plaque marking the vehicle’s exclusivity in your centre console. We would have loved to see the option of the Alpina deko-set – a factory-applied graphic going down the side of the vehicle. Think of it almost like the pinstripe on a Rolls-Royce. It’s an iconic part of Alpina’s heritage and it would have been an extra pop of flash on what is already an absolutely baller (technical term) package.
It is often said of vehicles of the XB7’s caliber that they are meant to be driven in – rather than driven – and that presents a curious case for this Lear jet on wheels. Like the standard X7, you will hardly find yourself wanting for more comforts. From its quilted headrest with a plush pillow to massaging seats, rear-seat entertainment, illuminated panoramic sunroof and of course, the scented air conditioning, the XB7 delivers on luxury. The only way you’d get jealous is by seeing the other goodies available to customers overseas, like a LAVALINA leather interior featuring customizable piping, stitching, embroidery and more, that aforementioned deko-set, embossed logos and lettering and more. We may or may not be dreaming of an XB7 finished in Alpina Green with a gold front decal, gold deko-set and a saddle brown or cream LAVALINA interior…
There’s no denying of the luxury Alpina has brought to the game – but they’ve also delivered power. Lots of power. Up nearly 90hp from the most powerful X7 on offer, the XB7 pushes out 613 horsepower and 590 lb-ft of torque, shuttling it from 0-100 in just over 4 seconds. But that doesn’t mean this gargantuan family hauler is only a straight-line ace. Adjustable air suspension and rear-wheel-steering means both you and Jeeves can carve corners far better than something of this size should be capable of. Alpina’s engine and transmission tuning prioritizes low-end torque. In human-speak, just plant your feet from a stop, or low speed, and the XB7 jettisons to the horizon with vigor, and if you’re in sport mode, a delightfully delicious exhaust note.
Tuned suspension, massive power, big wheels, crackly exhaust and a high price might lead some to ask – is this basically what an M-tuned X7 would be? Sure, it might have similar ingredients, but we don’t think so. An Alpina will deliver power – but it will not forsake luxury in the process. This has to be a vehicle that is comfortable and perfectly usable in one’s daily life, not a weekend or track toy. That low end torque for instance absolutely shines in stop and go traffic – especially when paired with BMW’s semi-autonomous cruise control. This won’t feel as hard, tight and rigid as a fully-fledged M-car, nor should it, and please do not believe that this focus on comfort detracts from it in any way.
Driving the XB7 in a mix of city and highway driving cements the sheer livability of this vehicle. The 4.4; twin-turbo V8 beast that lurks under the hood is ready and willing to show its teeth when you need it, but it can be perfectly docile. While you probably shouldn’t expect spectacular fuel economy (it’s officially rated as good as 11.5 L/100km on the highway) it’s not completely terrible. Through a week of mixed driving, we recorded between 17 and 18 L/100km according to the on-board readout. The rear-wheel steering helped this largest BMW navigate a condominium parking lot and city streets with ease, while that V8 helped it eat up highway miles with ease and in comfort – especially if you sat in the back. We’d love if there was a way to eliminate the third row entirely and just give the 2nd row chairs even more room for relaxation, but that might be a tall order. Speaking of – the squared off shape of the XB7 means your tallest friends should be more than okay stepping into the XB7 – so long as they stay out of the third row.
As one might expect, this exclusivity does not come cheap. A ‘basic’ X7 will set buyers back nearly $103,000. The XB7, meanwhile, starts at $165,900. Our tester took things further with some swanky options like the $5,000 B&W sound system, coming in at $179,900. But here’s the thing – the XB7 can contend with the likes of the Mercedes-AMG GLS and G-Wagen, but at a (somewhat) lower cost – and increased exclusivity.
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