Shane K
- Dec 25, 2019
- 4 min read

Santa’s Reindeer Re-imagined as D̶i̶s̶n̶e̶y̶ ̶P̶r̶i̶n̶c̶e̶s̶s̶e̶s̶ Cars

The Velocity of Venison

The holidays are upon us, so let's find a vague excuse to publish a car related article to help ring in the season! We read biographies of each of Santa's reindeer and tried to match them to

a car. Have fun - and from all two of us - whatever you celebrate, have a fantastic holiday and a happy new year!

Courtesy: McLaren Automotive

Dasher: McLaren F1

Said to be the fastest reindeer of the bunch, Dasher once led Santa’s pack of flying venison across the globe, but was eventually usurped by Rudolph. Similarly, the McLaren F1 held the production car speed record for over a decade, only to be dethroned by Bugatti. Still – much like Dasher – its swiftness is nothing short of impressive. The F1 still holds the speed record for naturally aspirated vehicles.

Courtesy: Pagani Automobili

Dancer: Pagani Zonda

Dancer is all about flair and panache. Of all Santa’s reindeer, Dancer is all about theatrics and drama. For a car that went out of production, the Zonda sure manages to keep the production lines busy. Pagani’s Zonda lives up to Dancer’s image – even at a standstill. Its dramatic but elegant design, aggressive aerodynamic pieces, a Mercedes-Benz V12 good for up to 800 horsepower and the iconic quad-centre exhaust are anything but introverted.

Courtesy: Pagani Automobili

Prancer: Pagani Huayra

The twin brother of Dancer. Like his sibling, Prancer excels at graceful, swift movement – and he knows it. He knows he looks good but he’s a little more elegant and reserved with his approach, keeping his horns polished and his coat shiny. The Huayra is a little smoother around the edges over the Zonda. It’s a similar end result, but a different approach. Like these twin Reindeer, they’re similar, but possess unique characteristics enough to set them apart. Also the Huayra is just a completely different model to the Zonda altogether.

Courtesy: Jaguar Land Rover

Vixen: Jaguar E-Type

The most beautiful reindeer of them all. Allegedly. To my knowledge the only physical characteristic of a reindeer that is ever praised is Rudolph’s nose. So appropriately I’m assigning the Jaguar E-Type to the role of Vixen. Adored by many and touted as the most beautiful car in the World, the E-Type enjoys a nearly universal reputation as a high priced looker. Appropriate as owners might end up looking at them more than they drive them thanks to those wonderful British electronics. But I digress. It’s the most beautiful. Allegedly. My personal vote? The Lamborghini Miura S. It’s got pretty eyelashes, wide hips, and looks good from any angle. The E-Type’s not so bad though.

Courtesy: Koenigsegg Automotive

Comet: Koenigsegg Regera

Comet, named after the streak of light that tore through the sky on the night of his birth, is said to be the strongest reindeer of the herd. As stubborn as he is loyal, Comet (though no slouch) may not be as fast as some of the other reindeer, but nearly nothing can stand in his way. The Koenigsegg Regera fits the bill perfectly. It’s not as fast as Rudolph, but with an incredible torque rating of 2,000 newton metres, it’ll pull Santa’s sleigh harder than a thing that pulls real hard.

Courtesy: Bentley Motors Ltd.

Cupid: Bentley Mulsanne

The most romantic of the reindeer. But he’s not always successful in his endeavours. Maybe he’s got everything you want in a significant other – but has a bit of a face only a mom could love. Santa apparently had to keep him away from Vixen because he couldn’t keep his eyes off her and kept crashing into things. Good thing the Mulsanne has ample safety systems. But like Cupid, it’s also romantic. Spec the leather and paint in your love’s favourite colour. Slide into the rear seats and pop open the optional champagne cooler, cocktail cabinet or fridge unit, complete with bespoke crystal decanters. Cheers to love lost.

Courtesy: Volvo Group

Donner: Volvo V60 Polestar Engineered

Donner’s name is actually ‘Donder.’ But had to be softened for our timid North American tongue. Donder loosely translates to ‘thunder’ so how anything other than Thor’s Hammer fit the bill better? Volvo honours its Scandinavian origin in multiple ways including this now iconic headlight design. Donner is the mom of the reindeer fleet, looking after the flock and taking care of them. As a brand that literally built its reputation on the care of its passengers, what could be more fitting than a Volvo?

Courtesy: Mercedes-Benz AG

Blitzen: Mercedes-Benz G63 AMG 6x6

Blitzen is the team’s capable navigator, guiding the flying deer through the harshest storms and territories. He’s said to be the bravest of the bunch, no matter what Mother Nature throws his way. The Mercedes-Benz G Wagen is certainly capable as well. But crank that capability up to 6 and throw on an extra axle, just because.

Courtesy: Bugatti

Rudolph: Bugatti Veyron Grand Sport Vitesse La Finale

The end of Dasher’s era, thanks to this newcomer. Much like the McLaren F1, both Rudolph and the Veyron usurped the speed crowns from their past champions. This striking ‘La Finale’ edition of the Veyron is finished in a red that would make Rudolph’s nose flush with envy. Before the Veyron, Bugatti was in a bit of a slump. They still had amazing engineering and technological prowess but like how Rudolph was kept out of the Reindeer Games, Bugatti were constantly overshadowed by more prominent manufacturers. But no longer. We’re sure the Veyron’s fog lights could guide Santa through the night without issue.

Of course, without the big man himself, a herd of flying reindeer on its own is little more than amusement. What would Santa ride in? Well, after d̶r̶i̶n̶k̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶a̶d̶u̶l̶t̶ ̶e̶g̶g̶n̶o̶g̶ being filled the magic of the holiday spirit, we came to this conclusion: